Key Takeaways: I get a little giddy every time I get a text from him.
Name: Kelly [Slater] because he surfs
Length of date: 2 hours and 30 minutes
How the date was obtained: Hinge (the dating app)
Where: On the beach in Santa Monica
I was recently skimming through the dating app Hinge and viewing profiles of men who “liked” me. During this process, I either “heart” a profile, or give them the thumbs down. Usually, it’s pretty easy for me to filter out guys I’d rather not meet. If they post pics of themselves vaping, sitting in a luxury car, or they offer up a shirtless mirror selfie, it’s a no for me, dawg. On this particular day, I came upon Kelly’s profile - no shirtless selfies, vapes or Ferraris, so I thought he had potential. I noticed pictures of him posing with his family, traveling the world, and staying active by golfing and surfing. I also saw that he had graduated from college, was 23-years-old (like me), and had an interesting job. Oh, and he’s a cutie! Needless to say, I started blushing as I scanned his profile. I decided to message him and ask about his travel adventures because we seemed to have that in common. Shortly after I messaged Kelly, he gave me his number and we arranged a date.
We decided to have a picnic on the beach; which is not only romantic but also follows social distancing guidelines – aka the best of both worlds. For the picnic part, we agreed to bring some of our fav snacks to share with the promise of no double-dipping! It’s COVID season, y’all.
I brought carrots, celery, and cilantro lime hummus because I’m a zesty gal and he brought goat cheese and Triscuits.
We agreed to meet at the beach parking lot instead of the actual beach. I’d imagine it’s hard to spot a person you’ve never met who’s just chilling on the sand. Like, what does that conversation look like?
“Just got to the beach. Where are you?”
“I'm on the sand, close to the ocean, and next to a seagull.”
I arrived at the agreed-upon meeting spot five minutes early, per usual. Then he texted saying he was running late but had secured the goat cheese. No problem, I thought. But then 10 minutes passed. I was a little concerned, but still optimistic. After 20 minutes passed, I started thinking this blog post would say, “Well, it happened, everyone. I got stood up!” Then I’d write, “So to cheer myself up I got a java chip Frappuccino.” Luckily, I didn’t have to get the Frappuccino because Kelly arrived! He apologized for being late and we started walking to the beach.
From the second we sat down on the sand until the time he walked me back to my car and closed my door (cute, I know!), I never stopped smiling. We were laughing and joking the vast majority of the date. Turns out that we both have a very similar, sarcastic sense of humor. It was a terrible revelation (see – I’m sarcastic!) But, one of the funniest parts of the date was not because of a hilarious knee-slapper, but because a passing bird did him dirty.
We were having one of the only serious conversations of the night when he stopped mid-sentence. He looked confused, reached his hand to his back, and said, “I think a bird just shit on me.” I offered to check and Kelly turned around. There it was - a small but mighty bird BM on the back of his shirt. I confirmed Kelly’s suspicions and he seemed embarrassed, but he eventually laughed it off. I tried to make him feel better by telling him that I’d been pooped on before. I reminded him that it is actually good luck, or so everyone tells you when you’ve got bird poop on you. Although, as the date when on, he seemed a little uncomfortable. No one wants poop on their shoulder. So eventually he took off his shirt and covered himself with a towel. But for a split second, I got to see Kelly’s ripped body. And ladies and gentlemen, I did not hate what I saw.
Overall, I am excited to see where this goes. Of course, I’ve only spent two and a half hours with Kelly so I don’t know him well, but I’m optimistic. I’ve felt sparks over the last 29 dates, but nothing quite like this. I get a little giddy every time I get a text from him, I find myself not stalking but looking back at his profile, and I felt like I had to call my mom after the date to tell her all about it. But then again, who knows how Kelly feels? Maybe he thought: who is this strange girl that likes turtles – yes, I did mention turtles, sorry. Or maybe he’d rather not date an actress. But, as far as I can tell, all signs are pointing to a second date at least, especially because he texted me this: “are you free next week for date #2?”
The future for us… another date!
Next Week: more time with Kelly and less bird poop