Date #36 + Date a Week 2.0 #1
As you'll remember, I have lanched Date a Week 2.0! I have coerced two of my kind, funny, and talented friends, Brittany and Cornelius, to go on a date every week for the month of September. If you've liked my journey, you will love theirs! As for me, I will still be dating every week and keeping you updated, there will just be less me and more them! You will not be disappointed. So, here is my Date #36 and their Date #1. Enjoy! And if you don't enjoy then I don't give a f*ck - I'm still reading "The Art of Not Giving a F*ck."
MY DATE #36
For this date with Kelly, (whom I've been dating for over a month) we attended a very small wine and cheese event at my house. My roommate, who wrote the post Finding Yourself During a Pandemic, hosted this glorious evening of charcuterie goodness. She had everything: cheese and wine (of course), nuts, fruits, vegetables, olives, hummus, pickles (my fav), and an incredible selection of dried, Italian meats. My roommate told me to bring Kelly, who she referred to as my "significant other." I think she was partly joking, but it did make me think about labels.
What is Kelly to me? I mean, he's obviously more than a friend because I don't know about you but I don't go around kissing my friends. And we are exclusive - as in we're both not dating other people. But, we haven't DTR-ed (Defined The Relationship). So, I guess I'll stick to "significant other" for now.
Anyway, the evening involved good music, dried meats, and Kelly. It was a win in my book.
Overall Experience: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️
The future for us… Kelly comes in contact with someone who's COVID positive. Can you say: "Dang, gurl, that's a bummer!" No really, could you say that because I'm feeling sorry for myself. Thx.
BRITTANY'S DATE #1
Name: Ryder, which is not his real name, but he rides motocross
Length of date: 1hr 45min
How the date was obtained: He asked!
Where: Carmelita’s in Fair Oaks, CA
I met Ryder through a mutual friend several months ago. He asked to take me on a date a few weeks later. At the time, I was not really in the adventurous headspace I’m in now. I was recovering from a different guy, feeling a little anxious and concerned I wouldn’t be interested in him. So I politely declined with very little explanation and he confidently responded with “No worries! The offer still stands if you change your mind,” which I found very impressive. He took a step back after that: no sliding in my DM’s, no creepiness, and no asking incessantly. When he saw my post about DAWLA 2.0, he sent me a short and sweet message: “my offer stands.” Just impressive. So I said, “Yes,” because that’s what we’re doing these days.
I got ready and drove to the restaurant for my first official DAWLA 2.0 date, blasting my own personalized playlist. Feel free to stream it for your own future dates! Though it mainly appeals to basic white girls like myself… ;) Nobody needs to know: DAW PLAYLIST
Anyways, hype music in full force, I pulled up to Carmelita’s a few minutes ahead of schedule! Ryder also arrived early and we sat at a table on the gorgeous, socially-distanced outdoor patio. The date was going really well, full of jokes and very natural conversation. When he got up to go to the bathroom, the couple sitting next to us turned to me and asked if we were on a first date. They met on Bumble 3 years ago and were reminiscing on their first date as they saw how much fun we were having.
When Ryder returned to the table, things took a turn for the worst. He referred to an Instagram post I made earlier that day about guys ghosting women after asking them out on dating apps (I've had quite a bit of that this week). In response, I made a joke and mentioned this blog. He was really, really confused. Then I was really, really confused.
Me: “You know, the whole Instagram story I posted about Date a Week LA and going on 5 dates, and writing weekly blogs about how they go... you watched my story and responded to it by asking me out.”
Ryder: “Oh, I was in the car. I didn’t actually listen to it... I just thought you said you were open to dating.”
I explained to him that I wasn’t just going out with him to write a blog, and I wouldn’t have mentioned it if I didn’t think he had already consented by asking me out in response to my Instagram story. And he felt a little better, but I could tell he was still put off. Possibly feeling undervalued.
Although I don’t think I did anything wrong, I do feel bad for catching him off guard. This isn’t a normal thing to do, but I do believe this Date a Week LA challenge is empowering and allows you to gain a greater perspective in your dating life. You learn how to stop taking first dates so seriously, have more fun, and let the bad experiences roll off of you. So I’m going to stick with it, and hopefully not make a complete train wreck of the next 4 dates.
Overall Experience: ⭐️⭐️⭐️
The future for us… I think Ryder is an amazing guy! I had a really great time with him for 95% of the date, until the breakdown. Unfortunately, I didn’t feel a romantic spark. I think we’re better as friends, and I really hope he will still want to be friends after this.
Next Week: A FaceTime date with an old friend, actor, and real estate extraordinaire! It’ll be just like old times, Date a Week LA
CORNELIUS'S DATE #1
Key Takeaways: Meeting with people from the internet is scary… for the female. Vitals: Name: Goose… Not her real name, but she’s in the Air Force… (After further research I now realize the fictional character "Goose" from Top Gun is actually a Navy pilot, not an Air Force pilot… But you get the idea) Length of date: 3 hours and change How the date was obtained: Bumble Where: Mt. Airy Forest, Cincinnati, OH Meeting up with strangers you met on the internet… It’s become all the rage over the past decade. But, as someone who stubbornly resists cultural fads (I’m like, so unique bro) I'd never actually gone on a Tinder/Bumble/Hinge/Grindr/Farmers Only date. But when Isabel, the dating-xen-master herself, commissions you to seek out hot singles in your area for a month-long Date-a-Week expedition of love... You must amend your arbitrary resistance to online-dating. Now, conceptually the idea of going on these dates didn’t intimidate me too much. I was once told by an elderly black woman that I have a wonderful personality and that type of compliment just doesn’t leave you. So a few blind dates? No sweat. But given that the date was a hike, there would indeed be sweat. And even before the hike and my physical perspiration began, I became a little anxious about spending a few hours with this potentially rigid Air Force technician. But to my relief, Goose (who had a tattoo sleeve on her right arm) was (obviously) super cool. We talked about her military life and some of the pros and cons that come along with signing your soul to the military. I told her about my mid-quarantine crisis where I was investigating joining the armed forces. She said I didn’t seem like the type; I think she’s probably right. We hiked for about six miles wandering through the forest and eventually, we got lost, but I don’t think either of us minded. We were vibing pretty nicely, laughing at each other’s jokes as we peppered one another with questions about our respective backstories. I learned about the meaning behind some of her tattoos, including one that memorialized a fallen sibling. Goose had a light and fun air, but beneath that was a really admirable strength. Real talk: nothing but respect for Goose. Honestly (and superficially), at the beginning of the date I didn’t find myself that attracted to Goose. Initially, she was wearing a baggy long-sleeve and sun-glasses, so I didn’t have much of a gauge on her appearance. But as I got to know her better (and as she took off some layers to reveal that fit military-bod) I found myself more drawn to her. By the end, I was like: “I kind of want to kiss her? Should I kiss her? Does she want me to kiss her? Maybe I should kiss her.” But then I remembered about that ole COVID-19 and I refrained like an upstanding citizen. As we were parting ways, we began to discuss how the date went from a kinda, self-aware, metta perspective. I asked her if she was worried about agreeing to go into the woods with someone who could’ve potentially been the weirdest dude in the world. She said she was in fact worried and that her mace was ready to go. I thanked her for not macing me. She thanked me for not murdering her, which really got me to thinking… Ladies, I really feel for you. I was a little bit nervous before this date due to the potential for an awkward interaction. Seriously, I can’t imagine what it’d be like to feel nervous about the potential of someone trying to do something to me. But anyway, on a less ominous note: Overall Experience: ⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️ The future for us… I don’t know. She was really cool. But, no disrespect to her, I kinda think a lot of women are really cool. We’ll see 🤷🏼♂️ Next Week: We’re working on it!