Date #16

Key Takeaways: Before a big night, check the tags inside a new shirt for care instructions, that is unless your goal to sear a hole in it with a hot iron.

Vitals:

Name: Billy [Joel] – the piano man, from Date #10 and Date #15

Length of date: 1 hour

How the date was obtained: scheduling another time to talk

Where: our respective houses

This date, Date #16, felt like a milestone for many reasons. This was my 3rd date with Billy, making it the first time that I’ve gone on more than 2 dates with someone during Date a Week LA! Now hold your virtual horses because we still live in different cities, so this may not be a sustainable relationship long-term, but I’m having fun! This was also the 5th date of quarantine, which means: we’ve had 5 weeks in quarantine! That’s a long time to be doing yoga on-line, having virtual sessions with my improv group and agonizing over the missing pieces of jigsaw puzzles. Additionally, sixteen has always been one of my favorite numbers, because my Sweet 16th birthday was da bomb.

“My Super Sweet 16” wasn’t a lavish affair where I threw a tantrum because The Jonas Brothers didn’t preform or turned up my nose at a Range Rover because I wanted PINK! I didn’t have a rhinestone-encrusted gown, I had a sparkly skirt and a new party shirt. Then right before the party, I decided to iron my new shirt and melted a hole into it. It was not 100% cotton, but I was 100% stupid. But as Tim Gunn would say, I had to “make it work” so I picked a cute shirt from my sister’s closet, and off I went.

Let me just say, the birthday party exceeded my expectations - mostly because we had DJ Guy! He was awesome and came with a mirror ball, photo booth, and karaoke setup. Dozens of my friends, hopped up on candy, danced the night away! Afterward, while picking up cupcake debris, I asked DJ Guy how he got his DJ name. I assumed that once you are inducted into the DJ Society (or however you got your DJ credentials) you got to pick your name. Of course, I had decided long ago that my DJ name would be DJ Izzy Iz, duh. And so, DJ Guy responded to my question: “My name is Guy. So, I’m DJ Guy.” And then I responded: “cool, cool, cool, cool, cool.” See below which songs I requested DJ Guy to play at my 16th b-day bash.

Back to the date…

You might remember that last week Billy and I took a virtual tour of the Musée d’Orsay in Paris, France. And you might remember that it was fun but a little discombobulated. So, for the next date with Billy, I was determined to make it bobulated. But before I could think of something fun and organized, Billy came up with an idea. He texted me saying me the idea: writing a short story/skit/sketch based on the same tweet/topic/photo and then we read the stories to each other.

I was excited about this creative date idea, but also a little nervous. What if my sketch wasn’t funny? What if it didn’t make sense? What if I got too consumed with a jigsaw puzzle and didn’t finish my sketch? The stakes seemed high.

I asked my best friend to send me a random stock image for a jumping-off point and then also sent it to Billy, so we were off to the races.

Here’s the picture she chose for reference:

I looked at this picture and saw the obvious: Vince Vaughn. I was inspired to write about him. I needed to answer some serious questions: Why would Vince Vaughn be in a conference room? Why were the people behind him smiling/laughing and ignoring him? And why did he look dead in the eyes?

So, I wrote a sketch about Vince Vaughn going undercover for his next, big role. He walks into the boardroom while the blonde woman (whom I named Tricia) is talking about how funny graphs are! Then, Tricia and the others (who I named Robert and Jennifer) see him and ask him if he is Vince Vaughn. Vince says “No! Hahah,” remember he is undercover! They ask Vince if he is related to Vince Vaughn, he says “No and no one has ever said that!” Then Tricia, Robert and Jennifer trash talk him, agree that the only good Vince Vaughn movie is Wedding Crashers, and that Vince Vaughn is in fact a terrible actor. Sad Vince. Then, the guy who set the whole thing up enters the room and blows Vince’s cover! Tricia, Robert and Jennifer are shocked, jaws are dropped! Tricia tries to recover saying “Well, I liked Couples Retreat” and Vince Vaughn responds by saying “Shut up, Tricia. No one likes Couples Retreat.” SCENE.

Billy wrote a sketch too. I will not share it here because I did not ask him if I could. But, I will summarize. His was well executed, had much more character development and was overall more thoughtful.

Was mine the next Citizen Cane, or Pulp Fiction or (one of my favorites) Nacho Libre? No. But I had a wonderful time writing my sketch and an even better time sharing it with my very generous audience, Billy.

Overall Experience:

⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️⭐️

The future for us… going on a walk! 6-feet apart.

Next Week: Walking!

Songs for DJ Guy to Play – this is real. I made him play these songs:

September- Earth, Wind and Fire

Hey Ya- OutKast

Boyfriend- Justin Beiber

Staying Alive– Bee Gees

Love on Top- Beyonce

Crank That– Solja Boy

You Make My Dreams - Hal and Oats

Miss New Booty- Bubba Sparxxx

Flashing Lights– Kanye

Mr. Blue Skies– Electric Light Orchestra