Yes, I went on two dates! As you may remember, last week I didn't go on a single date. I needed to bring my A-game this week, which is exactly what I did. So, buckle up because I've got double the action coming your way.
First, Date #18:
On Sunday night, I did the unthinkable. Desperate times called for desperate measures, so I hopped onto "The League" virtual speed dating platform, again. Read Date #12 for reference on this dicey date.
I know. I know. You are probably asking yourself: "weren't you worried about seeing a stranger without his clothes on, Isabel?" Of course! But that was a risk that I was willing to take.
Five minutes before I was supposed to start, I slapped on some under-eye concealer and mascara. I hadn't seen myself in makeup in almost a month and when I looked in the mirror, I was like, "Okay, Isabel. I see you, you beautiful specimen."
Then, The League notified me that I had my first match. I took a deep breath, tilted the camera a little bit (I looked 2000X better for some reason), and offered a coy smile.
Toby was my first match. But right when he appeared on my screen, his face froze. It was a pleasant-looking face, but he was slightly cross-eyed. Bummer. I realized that either my wifi/service was bad, or his was weak.
This was some of our dialogue:
Me: "Hello? Are you there? Can you hear me, Toby? Wait, can you see me?"
Toby: "Hi-- I can --- you. Can --- --- me?"
Me: "You're cutting out!"
Toby: "Ye---I---ma---s---f---potato----v---his."
Me: "Got it..."
After three minutes, the call ended. The League app said: "give us up to three minutes to find you an optimal match."Three minutes? No worries! I can wait that long. Then 20 minutes went by and I still didn't have a match. I would have taken a sub-optimal match at that point.
Then, the next match popped up: Joshua.
Before we started talking, I saw Joshua's profile and noticed that his bio said: "hope you like them fit and nerdy." A black screen appeared and he said: "Hey! How are you?" I said I was good, but that I couldn't see his face. Joshua said: "Oh shoot let me check on that!" Then I got this message from The League: "Your partner has left the chat."
It made me wonder - did he not like the looks of me? Was I not his type? Or was he not nerdy enough to figure out how to show himself on camera? I guess it wasn't meant to be.
My next match was with Chris. He showed up on my screen and he had placed the phone in front of his sink. He told me he was doing dishes. We had a very strained conversation about dishes for 3 minutes, then the call ended.
So, I didn't meet my match at The League virtual speed dating. But, it wasn't a total failure, especially compared to my previous experience. In fact, this was kind of a success. No one flipped me off, I didn't see a dirty bong or a nude man. Not bad if you ask me.
Now, Date #19:
Key Takeaways: Dog walking dates can force you into a Sophie's Choice situation.
Vitals:
Length of date: 1 hour
How the date was obtained: He texted me! Exciting!
Where: My neighborhood in Portland, OR
Before Rick arrived, I was debating whether or not I should add a third party to our date. You see, my older sister was getting her wisdom teeth removed, so my mom put me in charge of our family dog, Freddie the Schnoodle (schnauzer + poodle).
Most people like dogs so I wasn't concerned that Rick wouldn't approve of Freddie. I was mostly concerned that Freddie would embarrass me. Freddie is mostly great; he is sweet, affectionate, and playful. But, he's also a little bit of a menace; he's been known to nip at other dogs, down a whole chocolate bar landing him in the doggie ER, and now I can add raging pooper to the list.
When I met Rick in my driveway, I think he might have been more excited to see Freddie than me. I was mildly upset, but I also understand; Freddie is super cute. But this was long before Freddie showed his true colors: brown. About 1/4 mile into the walk, Freddie dropped a duce. That was when the Sophie's Choice of date dog walking kicked in: to stay flirty, laugh it off and say "silly dog!" or to do the socially responsible thing and pick it up.
I picked it up. I'm sure Rick didn't think: "Aww Isabel is so adorable picking up after her dog!" It's just not cute seeing your date hold a baggie of their dog's poop for an extended period of time. I did everything I could to find an unsuspecting neighbor's garbage can and get rid of the evidence but to no avail. I had to hold Freddie's excrement until we reached the stop in our neighborhood where there are doggie bags and a wastebasket.
I dropped off Freddie's droppings and then continued on the walk, acting like nothing involving poop had happened. Then Rick mentioned, "maybe you should grab another doggie bag in case he goes again." I then said something like, "Oh no, Freddie's a one and done kind of guy."
Not even 2 minutes later, Freddie started squatting again. I knew he would embarrass me! So, I handed Freddie's leash over to Rick while I sprinted to the doggie bag stand. Did I use this as an opportunity to show off my stellar athletic skills to Rick? Absolutely, remember we were both on our high school track team - he was the star. But, was I completely winded after 100 yards of running? Definitely. None the less, I picked up Freddie's dung, threw it away and then tried to stop breathing like I had an asthma attack.
After this series of unfortunate events, Rick and I continued with our walk. In all seriousness, I really enjoy my time with Rick. He is so easy to talk to and he understands my sense of humor, which is refreshing. But, we're still socially distancing, which makes it hard to tell if there's chemistry. There's still a part of me that thinks Rick is too cool for me, which probably stems from me still thinking of him as a popular upper-classman athlete while I was a sophomore theatre girl that had a turtle collection. But I'm hopeful that by recognizing that fear I won't let it slow down the momentum of this relationship with a really nice guy.
Overall Experience:
⭐️ for Freddie
⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ ⭐️ for Rick
The future for us… no more walks with Freddie and dates
Next Week: I'm working on it.