Key Takeaways: A FaceTime chat or phone call could reveal a lot about a date’s personality in advance.
Name: Francesco, because he is Italian and according to the website Baby Name Wizard, that was the most common name for boys in Italy (in 2015)
Length of date: 2 hours
How the date was obtained: Bumble
Where: Holmby Park in Beverly Hills (again)
This is Date #49, which means that before this date, I had gone on forty-eight dates in 2020! The guys I’ve dated have been either slightly younger than me, my age (twenty-four), or slightly older (the oldest being twenty-eight). So, after a bit of reflection, I thought maybe these matches haven’t worked because I need an older man. So, I set out on a long, treacherous journey through the world of dating apps to find someone mature. Finally, I found Francesco, a thirty (almost thirty-one) year old MAN who seemed like he had some potential. We got to know each other a little via text and I learned he had an interesting job, was confident, close to his family, and knew how to make plans. Dang, boy man.
When Friday came along, I was looking forward to my date with Francesco, the man. He offered to bring a charcuterie board, non-alcoholic beverages, and a blanket for our outdoor, socially-distanced picnic date. Was I swooning already? Absolutely. Nothing gets me going like dried meats and La Croix.
I texted Francesco letting him know that I’d made it to Holmby Park and that I’d set up my beach chairs (yes, one is the oil-ladened chair from Date #45, but the other’s fine, thank you very much). He spotted me hauling my chairs and yelled, “Hey! Isabel.” I cocked my head in his direction and he waved. I strolled over to his car saying, “Hey! I brought some beach chairs for us!” He looked at me and then at the chairs saying, “Oh I don’t want to sit on that.” Had he seen the oil marks? Oh no, Isabel, bad start. He backtracked, “I guess you can bring them both if they’re not too heavy for you.” I didn’t love his tone or inflection, but I gave him the benefit of the doubt – after all, they aren’t the most incredible chairs.
We walked side-by-side to a nice grassy spot in the park, perfect for an afternoon picnic. Then, out of nowhere he said, “Hey” again. I thought this was a little strange, but I quickly replied “Hey!” and giggled. Suddenly, he pointed to his phone, which was held up to his ear, and mouthed “I’m on the phone!” I was slowly starting to dislike Francesco.
While he was on the phone, I picked a spot, set up the chairs, and sat down. He eventually ended his conversation and sauntered back to his car to get the other items for the picnic. He returned with three Yeti cooler bags. Yes, three. I thought – he must have a real SPREAD. He slowly took out his charcuterie board which included corn chips, guacamole, a hunk of gouda, and a couple of slices of prosciutto. He’s a mature minimalist.
Francesco and I talked and grazed on the snacks for the next two hours. It was a bit chilly, but I’d come bundled up. Sometimes he’d share something that was so sweet or funny that I found him charming. But it was often followed by cringers like, “I’m not really an environmentally friendly guy,” using air quotes around “environmentally friendly.” Well sir, I’m from Oregon and Mother Earth is my girl! When I confirmed that I bring my own reusable grocery bags to the store, I saw suspicion cloud his eyes. Later he commented, “everyone’s coming out as transgender these days.” At that point, I should have stuck it to the man and said, “Well Francesco, I’m not transgender and neither are you, so I guess it’s not EVERYONE, right?” I held my tongue.
When the date was wrapping up, he insisted on sending me home with the corn chips, a can of La Croix, and a Yeti koozie. When I asserted that I didn’t need the koozie, he said, “I have a bunch and I don’t really want it anymore. Also, I don’t like that color.” Okay, noted.
So, I spent the afternoon with an “older” man, but did I find that he brought a new level of maturity and sophistication? Nahh. He played the older and wiser card with me, even making me defensive about my beliefs. But I’m attracted to people who have an evolved view of the world. So, it’s a “no from me, dawg,” as Randy Jackson would say on American Idol. Also, when I reflected on this encounter, I realized it might have helped if I’d called or FaceTimed Francesco in advance. I’m thinking vetting guys by actually talking with them should become my new norm, especially before I spend two hours, outside in December with them. This date definitely could have been avoided. Still, I’m glad I went, because now I have some Fritos and a new koozie and I’m not particularly mad about that.
The future for us… None
Next Week: Hopefully a FaceTime date with a potential suitor followed by a real date.
Also, check out this week's Date-a-Week posts HERE! We have two new daters for December! They are funny, kind, and smart! I can't wait for you to join them on their journeys!