Every week, you hear what I have to say about dating, and more recently, you have heard about my dating experience during the quarantine.
For a change of pace, I thought it would be fun for you to hear from other people! These 5 people have generously shared their perspective about dating while in quarantine, and they are from all walks of life. Women who are single, divorced, and married and men who are single and in committed relationships.
Enjoy this deep dive into Dating Quarantales:
"Well, Date a Week LA had just given me the courage to start dating. I contacted two potential dates, both of whom were interested, then we all got tossed in the slammer. Another ironclad indication that I should travel this road solo!"
"When Isabel pitched me the idea for this blog detailing her 52-date journey, I had my concerns. Members of the male species can be rife with ill-intentions and 52 excursions is a big enough sample size to encounter some real scuzz balls. I know this because--well--I am a man.
Of course, given her fine taste, it would appear Isabel hasn’t dated any absolutely horrible dudes. But, of course, myself and other men are influenced by that menacing testosterone. T is the devil on a man’s shoulder that implores him to sow his wild oats. And as devilish as it may be, I’ve sown my share of wild oats with some like-minded vivacious ladies.
But in this strange time of quarantine, I find myself astoundingly single. I’m cut off from physical dating and without anyone with whom I virtually flirt. In this pause from life, I’m assessing the state of my life, and trying to figure out how I will approach things on the other side.
In terms of dating, I find myself compelled to commit. I’ve done the song and dance of casual intimacy a bunch, but I want to break out of that cycle. I want to build a relationship that goes beyond the surface-level excitement. I want a deeply-connected partnership. You know, the long-term, real-deal. Not the quick-fix.
But, TBH, there are many things that’ll come before pursuing those types of lovey-dovey things. Yes. I do want something like that. But also, I want to be employed again! (Thanks a lot ‘Rona!) In the meantime? No more sowing of wild oats."
"First, I want to state publicly what I’ve been DM’ing Isabel since the beginning of this endeavor: You are so cool for doing this ‘Date a Week LA’ thing and sharing it with everyone! Dating can be so fun, but it’s also horribly confusing these days and can cause a ton of self-doubt. You never really know when you’re “allowed” to have expectations for a guy to show a normal, human level of communication and decency, yet so many of them are expecting casual sex. I know wonderful men who deeply desire a healthy connection with a woman, but unfortunately, those guys haven’t shown up in my dating life quite yet. Because of this, I don’t really enjoy “dating” in the contemporary sense. All this to say, I’m single as a pringle during this quarantine. I’m not talking to anyone. I got on a dating app for like 4 hours. A guy suggested we solve the social distancing problem by wrapping each other in cellophane and chocolate syrup for a steamy make-out sesh. My soul died. I deleted the app for the 47th time.
Over the span of the last 6 months, I’ve gone out with 5 different guys that I met through real-life situations (which is A LOT for me). I started to have feelings with 2 of them, but they crashed and burned for different reasons. I’ve realized this quarantine is a beautiful opportunity for me to take a little break from the desire for that special dude to come into my life, as well as manage my disappointments from the past so I don’t carry them into future dating experiences. No - it’s not the most thrilling season of life and I do feel a bit lonely, but I believe that every season serves a purpose and I’m doing my best to reap all possible benefits from this one."
As someone who is far more interested in being at home and working on projects than going out the quarantine is more like a government-sanctioned endorsement of my lifestyle than anything else. But with dating someone it's a little different, I guess. In all honesty, we really don’t go out very much. We work out in my garage and aside from the romantic trips to Ralphs for groceries we’re not missing out on much. We occasionally go out to eat, but as someone who works in that industry, I try to avoid it as much as possible. The biggest quarantine specific thing we’ve done is building a schedule in order to prioritize the ways we want to use our time while we have so much of it. I'd highly recommend it. Of course, we binged “Tiger King” in two days (a mistake I will not soon forget) and watched “Wild, Wild Country” but other than that we’ve been trying to spend this time creating content since we both have goals which rely on it. Once the initial shock of routines being disrupted dissipated and was replaced by a search for opportunity instead things have gone pretty smoothly. TLDR; We don’t really go out, so this is cool.
"Ah, quarantine. What a time. What a time to be alive. Unemployed and living at my parent’s house with my husband...
Though it sounds pretty unideal, I think, like most of life, quarantine has been good and bad. I feel lucky to be with my family, in a home with a dog, and a fireplace, and people I love. In many ways, I’m made for quarantine. I love being home - doing whatever I want whenever I want. In other ways, I’m going stir crazy. I miss my friends, and running out and about the town. I hate going to the grocery store, with everyone wearing masks. I’m also sad for people who have lost their lives, or the lives of those they love. And, of course, we’ve joined the large amount of people with jobs lost or changed. Yet, I’m reminded that like every dark season in history, this too shall pass. This too shall pass. I sink that deep into my bones, and I try to enjoy what’s around me, particularly the extra time with my parents. Soon, my husband and I will be on our own again, and probably remain that way for the rest of our lives. Soon we will be up and working, wishing we had more time. Soon the world will buzz, and we’ll join the race again. Some days it may not feel soon enough, but these days will surely end. So I limit the amount of news I intake, and care for my mental health. Some days are better than others, and I allow that to be the case. My husband and I turn to God and we pray. We’ve had quite turbulent times in our personal lives, and God has never left us. Though it’s natural to wonder what God is doing in the face of a global pandemic, we know that Immanuel, God is with us. In the midst of suffering, having the great comforter there to hold you, and pet your back, and listen to the cry of your heart, is a true gift. And often, exactly what we need. We ask for healing, and we do our best to play our part. And then we rest in hope. Hope that God’s got this. Hope that we’re not alone. Hope that no season lasts forever. Hope in a future that will carry on."
Also, check out all the amazing work Christy is doing here! There is nothing she can't do!
I just wanted to say a big thank you again to the wonderful people who shared their perspective. I am sending you a virtual hug and a round of applause!